matamaan ka~

''Bawat tao may kapaguran, pagod umiyak, pagod magmahal & pagod masaktan..Kaya ikaw pahalagahan mo ang taong nagmamahal sayo dahil pag napagod un, kahit mahal ka niya talaga, iiwan ka din niya.. ''

tama! oo nga nmn.. dba? lahat tayo my limits eh.. ganyan din aq.. bat q pa bha mamahalin ang taong d man lang alam mag appreciate.. ano aq? tanga? d ah.. kea nga may word na WALK AWAY..  just walk away.. wag na mag hold on.. la din kwenta.. iiwan q tlga pag napapagod na aq umiyak, magmahal at masaktan!!

may isang babae.. i'll rant it na lang in tagalog para hnd nia alm qng ano ung sinasabi q..

ang galing nia tlga mag bigay ng advice.. lalo na pag dating sa LOVE..  peo hnd nia nmn kayang gawin katulad na iniadvice nia sakin.. gaga tlga.. sarap sapakin un.. bwisit! WAG KA MAG BIGAY NG ADVICE SAKIN KUNG HINDI MO DIN KAYANG GAWIN!! move on daw sabi nia sakin.. eh ang tagal q na kea naka move on.. eh xa, habol pa ng habol pa kay qya e.. eh gusto nga ni qya e na magkabalikan kami.. ayaw q nga lang.. kasi la aqng time para sa mga ganito..  ang importante sakin ngaun ay studies ko at time for myself.. un lang.. kabwisit tlga yan babae na un.. buti na lang hnd muh alam mag tagalog! leche ka! :P 

hello November.. please be GOOD.. thnx.. :)

thank God its November now.. please be nice to me.. :) i've been sick since last friday.. the pain came and i suffered.. woohooo.. feel like dying that time.. and i nearly did something stupid.. just because i can't stand the pain, i took a knife and i nearly slit my wrist.. okay! okay! the pain is killing me!! then i had this mental break down.. huhu.. but thank God i didn't do it.. here i am still alive.. getting better now.. i just dont understand.. bakit bah kailangan q pa mag suffer qng pwde naman qqnin aq ni LORD..  ang sakit kea.. the pain is killing me.. mas masakit pa to kesa sa heartbroken.. :(  


while i was sick, i watched some Filipino drama.. i watched FULL HOUSE.. ang cute ni Heart taz ang gwapo ni Richard.. you see.. i'm a big fan of him since i was 10.. yep.. i started to like Richard when i was primary 4.. haha.. ang gwapo nya kase taz ang galing nia pa.. nakuh.. inlove na inlove tlga aq sakanya.. haha.. nakakainis tlga ung role nia sa FULL HOUSE.. pakipot pa xa taz ayaw nia pang umamin na inlove na xa kay Jessie@heart.. haha.. wawa nmn c Jessie dun.. iyak ng iyak.. kahit ang sakit sakit na, mahal nia pa talaga c Justin.. haha.. kinikilig tlga aq.. i really love it when Justin is jealous.. haha.. i'm gonna watch it again for the 2nd time.. andami kse na skip q eh.. :)


anyway.. school again bukaz.. nakuh.. kainiz.. skul ng skul.. che! bwisit.. its okay.. malapit na din holiday dba.. 3 more weeks to go.. kea muh yan A.J.. :) :)

:)

i dont miss having a boyfriend..I miss having someone to talk to at night..I miss being able to text someone randomly without having a reason and just to let them know i'm bored and want to talk to them..I miss having someone to look good for..i miss having someone that cared about me enough to text me good morning and good night..i miss finding myself smiling at the most randomest times..i miss the dance dance your heart does when you're about to see the person..i miss kissing someone goodbye..i miss being missed..i dont miss having a boyfriend.. i miss having a companionship..most importantly i miss having you in my life.. :)

why? why? why me?

Do you know what it feels like to be me? to feel what i feel? NO.. you dont.. so why keep acting like you know when the truth is you dont.. dont act like you know me and please stop acting like you care! you are getting into my nerves.. 


why it has to be me? huh? why me? i always think about others before myself and what do i get? heartache and tears.. my heart is breaking into pieces and all i see is you guys the people that i put first before me is having a great time.. oh Fuck, why? 

My Favorito Filipino Quotes.. :)

1.Minsan sa buhay mo di mo alam kung kanino ka maniniwala. Sa mga kaibigan mo na nagsasabing ‘wag na’, sa isip mo na nag-uutos na ‘tama na’, o sa puso mo na bumubulong na… ‘basta mahal mo, sige kaya pa! 


2.The meaning of love is so unexplainable! Can’t be described similarly by everyone. But one thing is for sure.. Love begins with ‘friends lang kami’ and ends with ‘friends na lang kami!


3.sa pag-ibig, may gago at tanga. Gago ka kapag nagmahal ka nang di nya alam. Tanga ka kung di mo alam na may nagmamahal sa yo. Oo, alam kong gago ako.. pero sana..wag kang maging tanga!


4.Alam ko na mahal kita, pero ayaw kong aminin. Di naman sa kinahihiya kita, di rin dahil takot ako. Ang akin lang, di mo na dapat pang malaman pa kung di mo lang rin kayang suklian!


5.ok lang sa akin na di kita nakikita kasi nasa puso naman kita, kaya araw-araw kausap ko ang puso ko. Nagtatawanan kami, nagkukwentuhan, nagkukulitan. Hello!? Obvious ba? Nababaliw ako kapag wala ka!

hmm..

wtf is wrong with me today.. woke up at 3 a.m and i noticed that tears are rolling down my face.. flashback! grrrr.. flashback. i normally will text my ex Bf if  i woke up at 3 a.m because sometimes he also can't sleep.. so both of us will be texting until one of us fall asleep.. aww.. i miss those moments.. dude, can we just turn back time.. i fucking miss that boy.. then while i was looking at his picture,i fell asleep.. the i woke up at 8.30.. bahaha.. bitch ain't going to school today.. bahaha.. die.. die.. die..  i woke up with tears rolling down my face again.. ayayay.. did something bad happen to him? that was the first thing came popping up my mind.. lame.. but yeah.. see.. i still care for him.. TANGA! yan ang sinasabi ng barkada q.. ang layo layo nia eh hnd muh nga alm qng ano ang nangyayari jan taz you still love him.. nakuh! TANGA ka tlga A.J.. yan ang plage sinasabi nila sakin.. ahaha.. minsan nabwibwisit aq sakanila but aww they are sweet you know.. they are my fucking besties..
andami pa nmn boys d2 taz ang dami pa nakakagusto seu taz all you do is IGNORE them.. nakuh.. gaga.. mga gwapo pa mga yan.. bahaha.. yan pa ang sinabi nila sakin.. i can't force my heart to accept boys when my heart is closed.. nobody will understand my feelings for you.. Fuck distance! Y U SO FAR AWAY? lol..

if i was someones girlfriend right now i would

• always cook you a meal when you were hungry.. <--i'm pretty good at cooking..
• always bake you cookies and cakes when you want some..
• play video games with you..
• watch football, baseball, basketball games..
• watch anime and horror action movies..
• have fun with you..
• go shopping with you..
• party till the morning with you..
• pretty much whatever makes my boy happy.. :)

makalimot nga bha?

ako ung taong mdaling makalimut sa mga taong nakakabwisit sakin.. isang araw d nah kita ppancnin..tsk! kya pasyensyahan nah lng qng isa knah s mga tao nah kelangan qng klimutan.. ksalanan muh na un.. ask yourself qng bakit ganun aq? kxe i wont be like that qng hnd dahil sau..bat kxe ang epal muh.. ang bait bait qoh na nga seu taz ganyan? tang ina muh!  

i'm been updating my blog using tagalog.. sorry guys.. tinatamad na tlga aq mag aral.. haha.. since PMR is over, i'm being such a bitch.. i've been absent for days and days.. bahaha.. tamad! peo ang sipag q tlga mag jogging.. hehe.. kahit ang sakit sakit na tlga ang katawan q,i still continue it.. waahhh.. papayat na sana aq.. i'm sure galit na galit c Theresa (mathz teacher q) sakin.. ahahaha.. bwisit yan teacher na yan.. maths ng maths.. STFU.. taz na ang PMR.. and she is still teaching.. stupida tlga.. nobody wanna learn now.. The exam is over BITCH..  La din kxe magawa sa skul qng hnd nakaupo ka lng jan parang tanga.. mag day dreaming.. ayna.. thats what i hate.. day dreaming? maiisip q nanaman ung PAST q.. sauce! drama nanaman.. i guess may basketball na nagaun jan.. nakuh.. nakuh.. bwisit! namiss q tlga ung gabi gabi sneaking out just to watch basketball, watch my crush playing and cheering up for my favorite Barangay->sta.Lucia,san juan, san benito and POBLACION.. <3 ayee.. anjan kxe c crush.. hehe.. bwisit un.. hnd q na xa ma contact.. hnd q na alm qng ano ang nangyari sa CP nia..  papaxok na aq bukas or else ma suspend aq.. aishhh!! kainiz tlga oh.. i hate waking up so early for skul.. imagine waking up at 4.30 a.m.. wohoho.. ang aga.. eeh.. sa aringay mga 6 a.m lang aq magigising.. ayayay.. wla tlga aq sa mood mag aral ngaun.. malapit na kxe holiday eh.. 1 more month to go bebeh!! kakayanin q tlga.. tatapusin q lang tlga 2ng high school q then i'ma pack my bag and leave for college.. i wanna go to AUSTRALIA or SWITZERLAND.. 

drama nanaman A.J ;)

wow wow wee.. :) i am so tired and my whole body is aching.. huhu.. but i know in the end it's gonna be worth it.. i really wanna lose my extre weight.. so, i woke up so late today.. around 11.20.. it's because i slept at 3.30 a.m yesterday.. as soon as woke up, i went to kitchen and prepared lunch.. then we had our lunch at 1.30..
i really love cooking.. cooking makes me feel alive.. bahahaha.. wanna know why? because i'm a good cook.. yeah..i'm bragging out about it.. ;) when jogging again today with Rowena, Joy and Rowena's family.. had fun.. played at the playground.. haha.. it was so fun okay.. oh by the way.i chatted with Grace, my Bestie in Pinas.. my nalaman nanaman aq.. woohohoho.. totoo bha ung mga nakikita ni Grace.. hmm.. i wanna know the truth.. p/s pupunta ata c mummy sa pinas this december but for few days lang.. i can't go coz i might get a part time job so yeah that kinda fucked me up.. ;) but its okay.. i'm gonna earn some money bebeh! ~hee.. gusto q lang tlga malamn qng ano ung nangyayari jan.. ano na ung latest gosip.. haha.. anjan pa ba ung mga crush q? ung mga ganun.. bahaha.. pakialamera tlga aq.. did i mention na naizip q nanaman xa while i was cooking?  i did.. because i remembered na mummy will always scold me when i'm cooking its because while i'm cooking, my hand is also busy texting him.. haha.. he used to be the reason i get scolded from my mummy.. hehe.. naiinis tlga aq pag pinagalitan aq ng dahil lang skanya.. i miss those moments.. i really wanna forget you but how? there's always a thing that keeps me reminding you.. for example,i got the same number in my class and its our monthsary date.. then whenever i reply someone's message, i will remember that you really hate me for taking ages of time to reply your text..your favorite songs is being played wherever i go.. so tell me how to forget you? maybe i should end my life so i wont thinkabout you anymore.. ayna.. drama ka nanaman A.J.. tama na yan.. I've let go of him.. qng babalik xa sakin eh din sakin tlga xa.. pero qng tatagapin q pa xa.. LMFAO..bahaha..

yeabaahh i want..

tattoos.. <3
i really want one.. i know my mum wont allow me to have tattoos.. specially my granny.. if she knows this she'll make a big fuss about it..
wohoho.. who cares? i think i need to wait for 2 more year to get my tattoos.. now i'm 16 so 2 more years to go bebeh.. :P

story of my life.. Part 1.. :)

Apple Jane Rulloda Aleria.. that's my name and i was born on June 29,1994.. Some of you knows my name but not my story.. here it goes.. My mum and my two sisters means the world to me.. They are the reason why i'm still holding on and they inspire me the most..My mum is also my dad.. She is the head of the family since we left our dad.. Do you know what it feels like when your father just dont give a fuck about you? when your father never even ask how are you? ,do you need anything,how was your exam? did anyone hurt you? how was school today? well.. My father never ask me those simple questions. I do hate my father for not being there whenever i need him..  He was not there when i graduated my elementary school..He was not there when i had my first heatbreak.. He was not there on my birthdays.. There's a reason why i hate my father..He is a Jerk.. He works but all his money goes to other woman and not his family.. He would always pick fight with my mum and i would only cry while watching them fight.. I was only 7 when all the bullshit happend..So tell me what can i do back then? Nothing! theres nothing i can do to stand for my mum.. So we took the chance and left him to start a new life in the Philippines..

It was a long journey and i was so exhausted.. a 6 hours journey bus from Sandakan to Kota Kinabalu..Then a flight from Kota Kinabalu to Manila.. Then a journey bus from Manila to Aringay..I lost my my bag and my wallet, CDs, some of my school documents, my favorite blouse and jeans in the Kota Kinabalu Airport.. i was so damn sad on that day..Tita Bebot & Tito Rey fetch us at the aringay bus stop.. then we stayed at Lolo Ruding's house.. i was the first one to hit the bed and fall asleep..Becuse of the noisy noise i had to wake up at 6.00 a.m which is so fucking early for me..so waking up so damn early changed my mood that time.. i was so pissed off and everything doesn't seems right for me.. we had two months time to suit ourselves with the enviroment before school starts.. i was kinda excited when mummy told me that the school is a private school and it is a one whole day school.. bahaha.. i laughed because i thought she was just joking and it turned out to be real.. one whole day man! 

It was okay for the first month.. not bad.. i could adjust myself.. i got a lot of friends to hang out and do stupid stuff.. and then here comes love in the way.. i fell inlove and i did have a heartbreak.. bahaha.. a massive heartbreak dude.. there are few  people that had changed my life.. taught me the lesson of life.. taught me about boys.. taught me about heartbreak.. bahaha.. lame.. but yeah.. i learned okay.. :)  and there some people that left their footprints in my heart.. i could say that 1 year experience changed me alot.. i cried and i laughed.. and there some people that no matter how hard i tried to forget them, it never works and never will.. 

why are you still on my mind? its been a long time and yet you still own my fucking heart..

It feels like a precious wound, a heartbreak you won’t let go of because it hurts too good. We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we’re afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins.

Then I looked at around to this place, at the chaos it has endured - the way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured, maybe my life hasn’t been so chaotic, it’s just the world that is, and the real trap is getting attached to any of it..

I wonder if you ever miss me, wonder if you ever think about the good times we had.. Samara Beach,our secret place to hang out,our great escape,our songs,getting drunk together.All the things that we did..I wonder if you ever miss it? 

About how much I loved you, or thought I did. How I felt everytime you pick a fight with me, like I could feel my heart stopping. The nights I spent crying rather than sleeping, how much you didn’t care, how you treat me now, how you fucked her the day after we broke up, the cuts that you didn’t ever care about,how wrong I was to ever love you? well i never knew what it was like to feel like this;— to get that heavy unwanted feeling in your chest, when you dont want to speak of move. all you want to do is close your eyes,sleep, and think..what the fuck did i do wrong?! where did i fuck up? just close my eyes and sleep becuase the process of beinng broken is incredibly exhausting. for a while i attempted to make my days fulfilling, but no mater how hard i tried i couldnt seem to connect with anyone or anything the way i used too. i jut wanted the pain to stop to  not feel anything at all if it means the aching would stop.

The feelings i had for you were unfathomable, i was unaware i was even feeling them. untill you told me you didnt want me anymore. and thats when it hit me… i loved everything about us, about you, and about how i felt with you. but im going ok now. because ive tried my hardest to move on. althought my thoughts pace back and forth about you and me, i stay strong. i just wish all this pain and feelings would disappear.  how long will it take..? to make it stop. i miss you. alot. i wonder if you do too? i want you to reach out to me, tell me you still want to be friends. because when i lost you i lost my bestfriend tooo. idk. you hurt me. i feel dumb. ugh! 

The sad/sweet thing is, all of the things I talked about are things we did when we were together. Us ending changed me so much as a person, but to be honest, I still compare every boy I meet to him;he’s the only boy I’ve ever loved. I don’t know what about the comparison of you has made me so unsure of relationships but something definitely has.

yay.. new friend.. :)

hmm.. i was so moody and its all because of you.. thank you so much for making me upset.. grrr.. i wish i could just give you a slap on your face.. hmm.. why keep acting like you care when its clear that you dont even give a fuck.. i hate you for giving those feelings.. FUCK YOU DUDE! stop acting like you care..  2 weeks holiday.. yay.. i'm going to my granny's house.. i need a break from all of this.. so i'm giving myself a break about everything.. i'm going to do my revision for PMR.. i'm going to keep distance with you.. i'll avoid you from now on..  hmm.. waahh.. yeahey.. hari nie aq dpt kwn bru.. hehe.. happy gile.. org nya baik and mesra.. untung GF nya.. hehe.. jeles aq..  bnyak yg aq t'belajar dari dia hari nie.. mostly about boys.. he is so damn funny.. haha.. balik2x aq ktawa.. anyway.. i am happy.. :)

day 2.. :)

Day One:Nine things about yourself


1.I like being alone, but hate feeling alone.


2.I’m secretly extremely insecure about everything.


3.I’m never too sure of myself and I constantly change my mind about things. 


4.I’m socially awkward a lot of the time.


5.i care too much about other people’s opinion.


6.i cry myself too sleep a little more often then i’d like.


7.i’m a bitch when i need to be.


8.I am not very confortable with my appearance, i know that’s true for most of girls but it’s a real problem trust me.


9.I am kinda lost at the moment, so many question about myself, i am so confuse.

:) day 1..

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now


1.you're a major douche lord..
2.i still love you..
3.thanks for being a good friend to me..
4.i wish you weren't so far away.
5.is everything ok between us?
6.i will never text you first.
7.i don't care about you anymore..
8.my life is pretty miserable without you now.,
9.i hope she gives you herpes..
10.i think i'm starting to like you..

i'll be doing this.. :)

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession

a guy that i want..

Who wants the perfect guy? Not me. I don’t want anyone perfect. I don’t want anyone normal, that’s just boring. I want someone weird. I want someone unpredictable. I want someone who lets things slide and who loves to laugh and make me laugh. I want someone who will be crazy about me, and isn’t afraid to let everyone know it. I want him to be able to tell me to shut the hell up when I am bugging him. I want someone who challenges me, in every way. I want someone who puts up with my shit, but isn’t a push over. I want someone who pisses me off, but I can never be mad at, but perfect? That’s one thing I never want, maybe just perfect for me.i want a guy that will sing me to sleep.a guy that will kick someone's ass for me when i'm mad.a guy that will wipe my tears away when i have bad dreams.a guy that will let me wear his t-shirt.a guy that will play basketball with me.a guy that will let me drive his car though he knows that i suck at driving.a guy that will let me sleep on his shoulder.a guy that i can act stupid with.a guy that will always love me and wont tell lies.. thats all.. is that too much?

what a fucking day!

i'm so fucking mad today.. gosh... i'm losing my fucking mind.. what the heck is happening to me?  everything is driving me insane.. headache + toothache? on sunday? yeah right. i can't go out.. and now my throat? and i can't sleep.. everything is fucking perfect right now!!! can't go out and can't sleep!!! what can i do?? fuck this shit!! i'm soo fucked up... what a weekend!! i feel like slamming all the doors and bang my head on the wall..  arggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need a fucking normal life!!!!!!!!!!! 

my heart is filled with hate..

I thought that I was going to be better by now, but I’m not.

I feel like I’m not allowed to express my anger and sadness over what happened. If I did, then everyone would get mad at me and think I was a huge bitch.

I thought that keeping my feelings hidden from everyone would help me get better, but it hasn’t helped me at all. It’s made my “episodes” less frequent, but it hasn’t stopped them from happening altogether.

Now, it’s apparent that I’m getting worse. My episodes are occurring much more frequently, and they’ve been growing stronger and stronger.

I spend a lot of time now lying in my bed in the dark with the covers pulled over my head, crying quietly to myself. This morning I was hit particularly hard by an episode; all I wanted was to stand in the shower and drown.

I hate him. I hate what he did to me. I hate the way he pretends like I never meant anything to him. I hate how he doesn’t see anything wrong with his serial monogamy. I that other people are letting him get away with this, and that some people are actually encouraging it.

What I hate most of all, though, is that people are going to read this and think I’m just being melodramatic. “Just get over it already. the truth is my heart is filled with Hate now! i'm drowning with hate! i'm starting to hate everything! i just wanna runaway from this town and live far away..

the end of trial exam..

the end of Trial exam.. yeahey.. need to focus now for my PMR.. huhu.. stress.. but i know i can do it.. think positive Apple.. :) 

so guess what? my friend caught you staring at me boy.. :) yay.. hmm..if you doesnt text me first, i wont text. if you dont call, i'm sure as hell i wont call. if you dont say Hi, i wont say Hi.. but you know what? i really miss you.. seeing you at school makes me sad & happy.. i dont know why.. i wanna know why you keep staring at me? do you have something to say? just tell me.. i'll be ok.. i'll listen..  

i'll wait for you boy.. :)

only me.. :)

Meredith Grey..

“Forgive and forget. That’s what they say. It’s good advice, but it’s not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled…old wounds never heal. And the most we can hope for, is that one day we’ll be lucky enough to forget.”


We have to keep reinventing ourselves almost every minute because the world can change in an instant, and there's no time for looking back. Sometimes the changes are forced on us, sometimes they happen by accident, and we make the most of them. We have to constantly come up with new ways to fix ourselves. So we change, we adapt, we create new versions of ourselves. We just need to be sure that this one is an improvement over the last.

do i really hate you?

I hate you so fucking much; every fucking word that comes out of your foul mouth. Who the fuck do you think you are and why are you set on making my life miserable? Your lazy and pathetic so how about you stop moping around feeling sorry for yourself, while everyone bends head over heels to make life easier for you, and get off your high horse. You can say whatever cruel and harsh things you want to me, find reasons to make me feel worse about myself, but at the end of the day you are cold and heartless and I don’t ever want to wither away and become as bitter as you are. If you took one fucking second to listen to me or pay the slightest bit of attention to my life, maybe you would actually know something about me, rather than just assuming everything and making a colossal ass out of yourself, you fucking prick. I cannot wait to get as far away as possible from you. 

another mess in my messy head..

so guess what?? i caught you thinking of me.. haha.. you texted me first and i'm loving it.. i was absent today.. aparently you did notice that i was absent and you texted me.. ayeee.. that made my day.. and you said that you were worried about me? ahaha.. WTF? is that true? is that really you?? hmm.. tell me... gossshh.. another mess in my messy head.. :P

dear future boyfriend..

I’m sorry for the fights that we’ll get into. I’m sorry for making you cry. I’m sorry for lying. I’m sorry if I get jealous. I’m sorry if I act childish sometimes. I’m sorry if I’m a pain in the ass sometimes. And I’m sorry for everything that I’ll do to make you unhappy. I thank you for all the smiles that you’ll bring me, all the happiness you can give me. I thank you for being there for when I need you the most. Thank you for brightening up my day. If you make me cry, then that’s okay. Just don’t make that a habit. If you hold my hand, hold it tight so that you can make sure that I don’t slip away. If you hold me, just know that I won’t stop smiling. I want you to know that if I ever do slip away, I didn’t want to, but it was something that I couldn’t help. And when I realize how stupid I was, I hope that you still haven’t given up on me yet. And I hope that you’ll still be there to give me another chance because I would give you that second chance. If you make me cry, then that’s okay. They say that guys aren’t worth my tears, but I want you to be the guy that’s worth my tears. I know that there’ll be times where I can’t always make you happy. I know that there will be times where I won’t be able to see you because of my parents, but know that I really just want to be with you right at that moment and know that I just want to be in your arms. I don’t need you to kiss me every minute like how some couples are because I’d rather you just surprise me. I’ll love it when you make me laugh, even if it’s something completely stupid, a cheesy pick up line, a silly face, anything, I’ll love it. I’ll introduce you to my friends if you want and you can introduce me to yours, but that really doesn’t matter to me. Knowing you is good enough for me. I won’t fall for any of your friends because I know how much you’d hate that and why would I want them when I have you? I just hope that you can do the same. I’ll watch movies with you all day if you wanted to - your favorite movies, my favorite movies, new movies, any movie. We can go to the park and run around you can chase me around the playground. We can take a train to New York and then wind up not getting off until the last stop. When we do get off, we can just take another train and it won’t matter which stop we get off at. We can stay up all night on the phone and not even say anything to each other. Future boyfriend, I hope that I’ll meet you soon..   -x0x0-

who's Deuce?

 so he is my friend and more than friends.. haha.. he is not my Bf coz he is in a relationship but we are more than friends.. we treat each other in a special way but no commitment involve.. we are just more than friends but less than lovers.. i settle for this kind of relationship just bcoz i like him and i dont want to have any commitment.. i dont want to be someone's GF & i dont want to have a BF.. i'm happy with this kind of relationship for the time being..  :)) he makes me happy & that it! i just wanna be happy.. :D

buy me..

i want this nooowwww.. buy me this & i promise i'll date you.. lol.. WTF.. jooookeee... :))

pathetic babe

so,this is my new blog..and yep.. there is still so many things that i need to do.. to make my blog more interesting.. can i turn back time? please.. i miss my childhood times.. where i still dont know anything about love.. i never know loving someone could hurt like hell.. do you know what it feels to live with regrets? i know how it feels.. i'm so messed up till i dont know what to feel anymore.. i'm so confused and the truth is i dont know how to feel happy.. gosh.. how pathetic i am right now.. :((